THE STABBING

Tuesday was a terrible day of subbing, and I was only in each class for one hour. Done by lunch. You'd think only having kids for about 50 minutes at a time and leaving by noon would be fantastic. At least that's what I thought when I took the job. Unfortunately the only peaceful hour was the first one, in which there were two other aids in the classroom.

The second hour I came within 30 seconds of sending a kid straight to the principal. I was actually looking for a note to write on when he finally agreed to sit in the back where he wouldn't be distracting or distracted.

The third hour I witnessed 7 year olds saying things like dammit and dancing around like monkeys. Seriously!

The fourth hour I actually did send a kid out of the classroom. And then I gave those first graders a pep talk:

"Ok. There is a problem here. Do you know what the problem is? I want to see hands. Yes, you."

"We are being too noisy!"

"That's right. I have to do what your teacher wrote down for me. But it's really hard because everyone is chatty and being distracting. So what can we do to help? Yes? You."

"We need to pay attention and listen better."

"Good! Alright, let's keep going."

Later that class, as I was helping another student, one kid begins punching another kid and ends up stabbing himself on the pencil the victim was holding. Then the stabbed kid leaves class on his own (to go to the office, apparently) and tells the principal that the other kid stabbed him with a pencil.